A Little More Personal

This blog post is different. It is different, because it will not be about fashion, lifestyle or music. It is about me. This blog post is my last post. It is my last blog post published in Vienna.
I figured that when having a blog, it is like giving some people a peek into your private life, even though it is just about certain aspects like your fashion choices or your taste in music. Now if some of you follow my articles, you may have noticed that I’ll be gone soon.

I am going to do an exchange in Antwerp, Belgium and I am overly excited, yet nervous and shitting my pants. I’ve never done an exchange before and thoughts about how it will be keep running through my head. Guess, that is what you call getting out of your comfort zone.

On the other hand I must say, I’m really looking forward to that once in a lifetime experience. Antwerp seems to be so cool – fashionable, modern, artsy, innovative, historic and open minded. What else would you want from a city?! Yet, there is more to come.
When I moved to Vienna I wasn’t in a good place and the first couple months here were kind of rough and I didn’t wanna stay here. I remember times when I was sitting at home just wondering why I came here in the first place? Was is it for my career? Was is it for love? I didn’t know. I just knew that I had to change that point of view and in order to escape feeling so lost, I decided to go away for the sake of myself. Some people might say that this is just running away from your fears and problems, but I’d rather call it adjusting your life. My problem was that I felt alone and lost in Vienna and don’t get me wrong, by now I like the city but still there is a feeling inside me saying that I need to see something different, something more. This can not be it! I don’t wanna graduate from university and never been to another country. Of course you can apply for a job or a PhD afterwards but it is not quite the same, I guess.

I know that there are so many bad and awful things going on in Europe right now. And many of you might think that it’s very weak to think like I do, being lost in a city where I can live in peace and quiet, when other people keep running for their lives just trying to make it better for them and their families, leaving their home and a place where they once felt happy. It is a luxurious problem, I know and the fear that I bear inside for a long time now, not being able to do so many things on my own has kept me from a lot adventures. I realized this over the last couple of weeks and especially when I went to Berlin. So, I need to change it and I’m more than grateful for the possibility and for being in a position I can do this kind of thing, I’m so thankful for my family, my parents for standing behind me, for my friends who are supporting me and for those people I will meet and become friends with. I wanted a change, now I have the chance for it.

I want to meet new people, make new friends, create networks, open myself up for new ideas and thoughts and finally be more confident about my own decisions and life choices. I wanna be able to keep running towards my goals and dreams, yet to stand still when I want it to. All in all I want to grow up and let the past be past.

See you soon in Antwerp 🙂

XOXO Ilija

ich

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